It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
