i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
