The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
