idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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