Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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