there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Randomize
