I'm eating all of the evidence.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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