school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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