last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
