Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Randomize
