the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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