Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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