My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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