can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
