She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
