He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
