Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
