let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
