Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
