i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
