The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
