forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
