Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
