the condom got lost in my hair
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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