Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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