yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
