i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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