matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was born a porn star she said
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
