you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
