Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
