Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
