I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
