Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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