When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
