She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
barbara walters just said penis...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
