Umm I'm too high to move.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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