He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
