new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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