No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
