Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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