since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
