That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
