Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
