I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
