Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
