is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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