Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
