She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
