The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
