we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
