We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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