The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
